His First Surrender (Stonewall Investigations Miami Book 3) Page 20

  Please. Put it in me.

  As if reading my mind, Rocky did exactly that. He pushed forward, his head parting me open, drawing gasps from the both of us. My entire world felt like it had been hit by the sun, consumed in a blaze of fiery glory. Of course I had played with myself before, fingering myself in the shower with a sudsy finger, sometimes two, but nothing could ever compare with the feeling of Rocky’s cock slipping inside me. Rocky’s hands held on to the swing, keeping it steady as he worked his way farther into me, inch by thick inch.

  As I felt him get deeper, I listened to what he said earlier and I relaxed, taking deep breaths. There was some pain, but it was fleeting and not enough to make me consider telling him to stop.

  No, I wanted him to keep going. Forever, I wanted to say.

  I wanted this moment to last forever.

  24

  Rocky Hudson

  Sinking into Sam Clark was pure paradise. I couldn’t explain it any other way. There was something in the way his toes curled, in how his lips quivered, in those half-lidded eyes of his, that wrapped me up completely in his spell. Making sure to take my time, I worked myself slowly into him, feeling him stretch around me. I also made sure to hold the swing steady, so that he didn’t accidentally rock forward and impale himself on me.

  We’d work up to that.

  “That okay?” I asked, seeing him wince before his face twisted in pleasure.

  “Yes, oh God, Rocky. You’re massive.”

  “Sorry,” I said, sinking in deeper. “And you’re welcome.”

  Sam chuckled before it morphed into a deep moan. I looked down, seeing myself halfway inside him. The swing moved slightly, but I held the straps. I kissed his leg, still hanging up in the straps. His cock pushed against the mesh of his briefs. I wanted to free him, but I was becoming so consumed with wanting to fuck him into oblivion.

  “Breathe, baby,” I said reassuringly. He listened, and on his exhale, I thrust forward, sliding into him down to the hilt. His eyes bulged and he leaned forward, causing the swing to move, pushing him backward, my cock sliding halfway out of him.

  “Again,” he said, his toes curling as I thrust, listening to his pleading. He gasped as I sank fully into him once again. “Oh my God.”

  “You feel so fucking good, baby.” I pulled out before slowly rocking my hips again, getting him used to my size, relishing in the intense heat that enveloped my cock. “That’s it. Just like that.”

  His big doe eyes locked on mine as I began to thrust in a rhythm. I let go of the straps and let the swing start picking up momentum, moving with each of my thrusts. It carried him away from me before swinging him back onto my cock, our skin slapping together. His toes curled in the air next to my head. I took one in my mouth, sucked and swirled, hearing Sam shout in pleasure as I continued to pound into him. His body convulsed. I held the straps as Sam’s body pulsed around me, seeing thick white come ooze out from the mesh of his briefs. His eyes were snapped shut. I kept fucking him, each thrust pushing out more of his seed, sending us both deeper into the oblivion of bliss.

  When he opened his eyes again, I slowed down my thrusts, holding us both steady. His face and chest were flushed a deep red, with sweat making his hair stick to his forehead.

  I leaned forward, still inside him, and kissed him, holding the swing so that we didn’t fall. He was breathing heavy, smiling against my lips.

  “Keep going,” he said against me, pushing himself onto me. He was still rock hard, his cock throbbing between us, sticky warm come now painting my chest.

  “Here, let’s take these off.” I got back up and pulled myself out of Sam, drawing a moan from both of us. I helped Sam’s feet out of the straps and helped him steady himself. I grabbed his wet briefs and tugged them off, his leaking cock springing out. I couldn’t help myself. I kneeled down and got myself a taste before kissing my way back up, lapping up his seed on the way to his lips.

  “Let’s try a different position,” I said, “If you’re up for it.”

  Sam playfully batted my hard dick with his. “Clearly, I am.”

  “All right, come here.” I turned Sam around, his ass to me. “Put your hands there—yup, and now lean forward.” Sam had his stomach on the swing, his ass up to me. “You feel okay?”

  “Totally.”

  “Okay, now I’m going to lift your legs. Each one goes in a strap. Comfortable?”

  “Very.”

  I stepped back, admiring the sight of Sam’s behind held in the air on the swing, his ass ready for the taking. His balls and hard cock hung down. I massaged him, gently, getting him used to the position, enjoying him before I ravaged him.

  I managed to hold on to the slippery bottle of lube as I reapplied it, spreading it over my shaft, using my fingers to wet his twitching hole. Two fingers now slipped easily inside him.

  “You ready?” I asked, pulling my fingers out and lining myself up with his entrance.

  “Mhmm.”

  He raised his head, looking across the room as I pressed the head of my cock against his hole. He took a breath. I watched his body, holding his hips as he took me in, readily, greedily. His ass felt like pure fucking heaven. This position made it a little easier for me to control, so I kept the swinging at a minimum at first, letting Sam get used to the new sensations.

  It wasn’t long, though, before the clapping sound of our bodies filled the room, my thrusts growing more intense, my growls mixing with his.

  The swing started doing the work for me, pulling Sam off me and pushing him right back on. I just stood there, watching my cock disappear and reappear. My nuts tightened, my precipice rising up to meet me with every rock of the swing.

  “Oh Rocky, that’s hitting it, God, that feels so good. Oh fuck. Fuck.”

  “I can feel your body pulling me in. Jesus, Sam. I’m about to blow.”

  “Me too, Rocky. Keep going. Oh fuck, you’re gonna make me come again. Oh fu—!”

  One last thrust, deep into Sam, and we both blew, Sam’s come making loud splats on the hardwood floor and mine filling up the condom, still buried inside Sam’s tight ass.

  Endorphins flooded me. Oxytocin floated through me. I saw a field of stars, even as I helped Sam out of the straps and back onto his shaky feet, his cock slowly softening, drips of come still falling down onto the floor.

  He looked a blissed-out as I felt. I pulled him onto me, both our faces cracking into wide smiles as we kissed, holding each other, his hands making soft trails across my back, like starry constellations lighting up the night sky, I could almost trace back the airy symbols he was drawing, that’s how sensitive my body felt in that moment.

  “That was… wow. Just, wow,” Sam said, looking up at me. “I never thought I’d lose my virginity on a sex swing.”

  “How was it?”

  “Wow. Literally all I can say right now. Wow. Like, I feel like my birth certificate now just says ‘wow’ on it. Name: Wow. Doctor: Wow. Parents: Wow.”

  We both cracked up. I kissed him some more, holding him and feeling his heart beat against mine. Our sweaty chests rose and fell, his head coming into the crook of my shoulder.

  “All right,” I said, “before we fall asleep standing, let’s go shower.”

  “Sleep?” Sam said as we separated. “Oh, that’s funny. Sleep. As if that’s happening tonight.”

  Some water still beaded around my collarbone. I felt a few drops slide over and down across my chest. We both smelled like fresh lavender and vanilla as we lounged naked in my backyard, resting on a large outdoor couch. The night had been too nice to spend it all inside. After our shower (and another fuck, seeing as how Sam had officially turned into a hungry bottom), I popped us a bottle of champagne and got us set up outside, underneath the star-dotted ink-black sky.

  Happiness swelled inside me. It hit me from out of nowhere, a powerful sensation that practically pushed the air from my lungs.

  Sam moved his foot so that it crossed mine. He threw an arm over my chest and re
sted his head on me. I wondered if he could hear how fast my heart was beating for him.

  “Tonight’s been… wow.” Sam must have still been at a loss for words. I laughed.

  “So you enjoyed your time on the swing?”

  “Enjoyed? I almost died. I seriously thought that orgasm was going to kill me. The second one. How embarrassing would that have been?”

  He chuckled, making me laugh along with him.

  “Death by sex swing,” he continued through the chuckles. “Imagine what my gravestone would look like.”

  More laughter. It felt so easy with Sam. Just the two of us, skin to the wind, hearts to the sky. This was never in the plans for me. Never. I thought I had buried this piece of me, the piece that could feel. I thought I’d left it rotting six feet under the cold, hard dirt.

  But that part of me never died. I was foolish to think so.

  “You know,” Sam said, his long eyelashes tickling my chest as he blinked, “I’ve never done this with anyone, sex swing aside, I’ve never been this intimate with anyone. And… I thought I’d be scared of it. Honestly. I thought I’d hate this kind of stuff.”

  “Do you? Hate it?”

  “Not in the slightest.”

  I nod, surprised at how good it felt to hear that. “I thought I would hate it, too.” It was a moment of pure honesty. A crusted scab sitting over the wounds of my past sloughed right off.

  “But you’ve been with other people, right?”

  “I have.” The world underneath me began to feel more distant. As if we were starting to float, slowly but surely, above the soft blanket I had laid underneath us. “It’s the intimate part I was worried about. Sex was… well, it turned into its own thing for me. I separated intimacy from what my body wanted. I didn’t realize they were one and the same. Not until now.”

  “Why did you separate them?”

  The question was a simple one, but damn was the answer a tangled fucking mess.

  “I lost a lot.” It became very difficult to find the next words. My brain scrambled to form a cohesive sentence. “Things happened. I, um, I felt safer. Keeping my emotions stifled. It made sense to me.”

  Silence followed my jumbled-up answer. I knew it wasn’t good enough, and that frustrated me to no fucking end. After how open and trusting Sam was with me, I felt like not reciprocating was equivalent to a slap across his face.

  And yet, still, I let the silence lapse, finding no words to fill it with.

  “Your parents?”

  “They weren’t the only ones I lost that day, Sam.” My throat constricted. As if someone had tied rope around my windpipe and suddenly snatched it tighter. I never talked about this. Not to anyone. Not to a therapist, not to a friend, not to a random stranger online. No one.

  Sam lifted from my chest, holding himself up on one arm, the other resting comfortably on my stomach. His thumb made slow circles on my skin. He felt like an anchor in that moment, one I desperately needed. The waters were getting more than choppy. There was a tsunami cresting the horizon, and I felt fear for the first time in a long time.

  “What happened?” Sam’s questions worked like a surgeon’s scalpel, delicately cutting away until the bleeding red heart was exposed.

  Fuck. I can’t do this.

  I literally couldn’t fucking do this. My throat tightened by the second. My chest followed suit. The tsunami that had been roaring in the distance had reached the shore, wiping me out in the blink of a permanently shut eye.

  “I… it’s…” I choked on my words. The sound that came from my throat resembled someone’s last cry before they drowned. A sob that tried to be disguised as a cough, fooling absolutely no one.

  I looked away from Sam, whose amber pools of brown eyes reflected a deep concern.

  He didn’t need to be worried about me. No one did. This was why I kept the wall up, so that no one had to worry. No one had to care, because no one would know just how broken the pieces inside me really were. How shattered and devastated I felt every single morning, when I woke up and dashed all hopes that the past ten years was just a prolonged nightmare.

  Who would have thought? The man who I’d met under suspicion of murder was the man who knew exactly how to unravel me.

  And I almost lost him tonight…

  My pulse hammered, making my stomach twist into a tight fisherman’s knot. I could keep silent. I could keep everything bottled in. My demons hadn’t seen the light of day, not since the accidents, so why give them that power now? Why dredge up all that pain, all the suffering? Especially after the night we had shared, from the tears Sam had shed when I’d rescued him to the explosive bliss that had taken us over only moments before…

  I should stay quiet. I shouldn’t give in. I don’t need to do this now.

  Sam didn’t say a word, but what he did next might as well have been him placing a key into a cobweb-covered lock.

  With his thumb, he gently wiped away the streak of tears I had felt escape me. I looked to him, our eyes meeting, a message inside of his, a comfort. With just a look, he spoke to me. Told me it was safe, that I could trust him. The same way he had trusted me by giving himself to me tonight.

  And so I did. I gave myself to Sam. Scars and all.

  “My brother loved video games.” The dam erupted open. “He loved playing those online role-playing games you talked about. We would play them all the time together. We were close. So close. When our parents died… it was a darkness I could never describe. The darkness was everywhere I looked. Except when I’d look to Brian. When I’d look to my younger brother, I felt like I could see a light. No matter how distant it was, there was a light. He always shone brighter than bright.” I choked. Composed myself. “We were together when we got the news. I was also with my boyfriend, Arty, at the time. We’d been together for three years at that point. When we found out what happened, the entire world seemed to stop. Nothing felt real. Not even time. Once the shock wore off, we had to drive to the hospital to identify the bodies. I shouldn’t have gotten behind the wheel. I should have let someone else drive.” I swallowed what felt like a bucket of knives. “I didn’t see the other car. None of us did. He took the red, but I couldn’t react in time. Side-swiped us off the road. Car caught fire.” My lip shook as more tears slid down my cheeks. Images of the accident seared across my vision. I could begin to feel the heat of the flames building.

  “I was the only survivor.”

  “Oh, Rocky. No. No, Jesus. I’m so sorry.”

  Another dam broke. More tears. A prolonged silence followed, a heavy silence. One punctuated by even heavier breathing. Sam sniffled next to me, his hand on my chest, both of us looking out into the relative calm of my backyard.

  “My leg was messed up,” I continued after some time. “Some of it was burned. Some of it got scraped up. There was a long gash down the back that needed stitches. I was dragged out of the car by a cop who happened to drive by just as it happened. There was no time to pull out anyone else.”

  Another choked sob. Had it come from me or Sam? Both, maybe.

  “All in the span of twenty-four hours. My entire world collapsed in on itself.” I took a breath, finding some kind of solid strength in my chest, pulling me back to shore. “I hated connecting with anyone after that day. I didn’t ever want to open myself up to the pain again. Not even a shadow of that pain.” I kissed the top of Sam’s head and pulled him tighter. His warmth against my skin made me feel more at home than the walls behind us ever had.

  “I’m so sorry, Rocky. What you went through… I can’t even picture how hard it must have all been. No one should ever…”

  “I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. That day.” I planted another kiss on his head. He smelled just like the flowery shampoo we had used earlier. We sat in more silence, the emotions of my past trauma still washing over us in intermittent waves.

  “Your tattoo,” Sam said through one of those waves. He put a delicate hand on my knee, just underneath the tattoos, underneath the
scarred and wrinkled skin.

  “It covers the scars I got from the accident.”

  “But doesn’t that—”

  “Hurt like a motherfucker on steroids? Oh yeah. It felt like I was being dipped in a vat of acid over and over again. Took me two years to finish with all the breaks I had to take. But, fuck, it was worth it.” I stretched my leg out, letting him see the tattoo better. “The octopus was my brother’s favorite animal, and the elk was my dad’s. The flowers were all my mom’s favorite flowers, and the tree is the same tree I had asked Arty to be my boyfriend under.” I looked at the tattoo with a fondness that reached the deepest parts of me.

  Sam sniffled again and wiped at his face. He looked up, into my eyes, his reflecting some of the moonlight above us.

  I pushed a rogue strand of hair from his forehead.

  “Thank you, Rocky. For opening up to me. For trusting me. It means the world and more.”

  “I should be the one thanking you, Sam. For saving me. I had let myself drift back down into the darkness. I had pushed everyone away, even my coworkers, before you came into my life, reminding me of what I had been missing. I think back to that day I chased Hazel’s purse thief down the street, and I’m so fucking glad it turned out the way it did, with me knocking on your door a few hours later.”

  “Nuts how life works, huh? One second you’re accusing me of stealing panties, and the next you’re falling in love with me.”

  The L-word dropped like a bomb on the scene. Sam looked shocked he had let it slip.

  “Not that I’m assuming anything,” he hastily added, his cheeks growing into two rose-colored dots. “You know, it’s not like I think we—”

  I stopped him with a kiss, swallowing his words, parting his lips with my tongue. His head in my hands, I broke apart for a second. I looked deep into his eyes, making sure he knew I meant every word I was about to say.

  “Sam Clark, I’m not falling in love with you.”

  Sam took in a breath.

  “I’ve already fallen.”